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Kelvin's Profile
Racing History
On the 13th of September 1978 the motor racing fraternity was dealt a crushing blow when, in a secret laboratory deep within the secret bowels of a secret ancient castle, a secret experiment to create the next generation of well spoken, clean cut, media friendly racing drivers, went horribly wrong.
At first the experiment appeared to have worked. Indeed the baby
showed all the right traits to be a world champion. A slower than
normal blink rate, unnaturally quick reactions, slow resting heart
rate, below average intelligence and massive genitalia. The
scientist were quick to congratulate each other, until one noticed
something badly wrong. Flowing down from under the child’s Arai
helmet and stuffed into the neck of his Nomex baby grow, was a mass
of hair. Raising the alarm, the child was taken to surgery where his
crash helmet could be removed. Sure enough, the child had hair.
Really long hair. And was shockingly good looking, even then. They
tried to shave it but it just grew back in an instant. Disappointed,
the scientists turned in for the night. In the morning they would
try to work out what went wrong and if anything could be done to fix
the situation.
In the morning, when the scientists returned to the castle, things
had gone from bad to worse. In the night, the kid had grown a
leather jacket and the most awesome pair of sunglasses that the
world had ever seen. In desperation, the scientists performed a
blood test. The results verified their worst fears, somehow, large
quantities of sex appeal, Jack Daniel’s and Rock and Roll had found
its way into the blood-gasoline-Nitro mix that the scientists were
using to create racing drivers.
The head scientist raised the important question how this came about
and soon the accusations were flying around the room. Eventually
they all agreed that, regardless of who had made the mistake, the
baby needed to be terminated before it got into a racing car and did
anything that might bring the sport into disrepute.
Later that night, they picked the child up whilst it slept, and
stole off into the night. Unfortunately, when it came to doing the
foul deed, the scientists discovered that they were not actually
murderers. After much debate, they settled on abandoning the baby in
a scrap yard near the local Stockcar track.
In the years that followed, Rowdy 13 was raised by two Short Track
Chevrolets and lived on rats and heavy metal until he was strong
enough to return to the castle, seek out the people who abandoned
him. And begin his horrific, bloody revenge. Killing the scientist
in cold blood. Killing them over and over again. Until they were
dead and bleeding and very mutilated and not nice at all to look at
,and dead. Very very dead. With no life at all in their dead bodies.
However, on the drive to the castle, Rowdy realised that driving
really fast was really fun and soon he forgot all about the planned
deadening of the scientist. To this day, he has continued to drive
fast while, In a secret laboratory, deep within the secret bowels of
a secret ancient castle, a secret group of scientist live in blind
fear of the day that Rowdy remembers what he went out to do…